...and I have to get this down before I lose my nerve, get really paranoid and flaky and erase it all. I'm having one of those weird aspie days in which I don't want to talk to anybody, be near anyone. I don't want to remember that this will be posted in a place where anybody could just stop by and read it. I feel..."icky". Everything that touches me irritates me. Everything is making me nervous.
I keep having these dreams about my aunt and uncle. I won't say which ones because I have so many, nobody will ever guess which ones were in the dreams. It's beyond weird. I haven't seen or talked to them for a few weeks, they haven't been mentioned at all in my waking life. But for some reason, for the past two nights I've had very weird dreams about them.
The first one involved them inviting me to a party at their new house (they don't have a new house in real life). I showed up half dressed and dirty, they lent me a shirt to wear. Then I was being obnoxious in front of their other guests and I embarrassed them, but they were still begrudgingly polite to me. The next dream involved the phrase "dark moon" over and over. There was a bus ride, then a train ride, then another bus ride. We were headed to their summer home (believe me, they don't really have one). Everyone else in the family heard that I was invited and besides being jealous that they weren't invited, they all wanted to know how this couple could afford a fancy summer home. My grandmother was at the summer house too, and we were left alone to have lunch together one day. She then proceeded to tell me just how disappointed she was in me. Then she told me that one of her friends just died. I just shrugged and then she got mad at me for showing no emotion. I had to explain to her that I almost never show emotion, that I couldn't help it because of the AS (you know). That went on for a while.
Beyond weird.
After that, my uncle and I were driving this gray school bus together. I don't know where we were going. But I do remember that everything was this washed-out gray color. Someone also kept mentioning books by Stephen King. That was VERY odd, as everyone who knows me well knows how much I HATE Stephen King. HATE.
This morning, well....this afternoon when I got up, I just had the yuckiest feeling. Not scared or anything. Just...I don't want to go out of the house. I don't want to tweet because now, all of a sudden, I don't want people to notice me. I just want to curl up on the couch and read my books. My precious, precious books....
Haha, that was funny. Well, they are precious. I guess writing this has helped. I made a funny. Sort of.
I just want to pretend that I'm going to Rome. I was fascinated by the Rick Steve's guide book and I'm only in the first chapter. I love nothing more than to pretend I'm going someplace new or that I'm already there.
I guess that's what I'll do all day.
Here's some info I found that was somewhat interesting:
Dark Moon
