I'm going to attempt to type what I have been unable to say out loud for a long time...
LOST, arguably the best television show of all time, will air its final season in less than a week. After the series finale in May, the adventure will come to a definitive end. I believe that, for the most part, the big mysteries will be solved, and even if there are still a few details left open to debate, the important elements of the story will have been wrapped up nicely. Because there can be no LOST Part 2, no spin-offs, no lame prequels or animated shorts. You just don't get something this amazing more than once or twice in a lifetime.
So when it ends, it ends for good. And even as I type this, I still cannot comprehend not having a new episode to look forward to. I still find it hard to believe that there will be a time when LOST is no more.
Many times I've imagined myself watching that final episode. I feel the sadness hit me, that tinge of pain you feel when your heart is breaking. You know that feeling...like when your best friend moved to the other side of the country or when you realized your first love was ending.
Being an Aspie, I almost never cry. I can actually count the number of times I've cried on one hand. But I know it's going to happen when that last episode airs and I know I won't be able to stop myself.
If you think I'm being completely stupid about this (if I only had a dollar for every time someone said to me "It's just a t.v. show...", I'd be filthy stinkin' rich) do me a favor and go read someone else's blog. I don't care what you think. LOST is probably over your head anyway. I've never been concerned with how others perceive me and I'm not about to start. I love this show very much, it's one of my "special interests" as a person with Autism. It's familiar, it's comfortable and watching it calms me down.
But LOST isn't just a highly entertaining, extremely well-written show with superb acting. For me, and for the VERY dedicated few, it's so much more.
For me, LOST is all the wonderful people I've met in the past 5 years...it's hours spent collaborating with them to figure out clues...participating in every ARG...an amazing set of artwork (I got 15/16 and I'm thrilled)...learning more about what I'm good at whilst writing for a LOST RPG...watching my son grow up and bonding with him over our shared obsession with the show...challenging myself to read some of the greatest works of literature ever written...pushing myself to learn more and more...becoming more outgoing, because I finally found people who are as geeky as I am! And some of the best people I've ever met in my life were drawn to me because of a few lengthy blogs I wrote about something I love.
When LOST ends, I know I won't see or chat with some of you as often as I'd like. But there are some of you that will always be around, because after all this time, we just know each other too well. And I'm really hoping that the bond is as strong as, let's say, other fandoms...I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the annual LOST convention to start up. Wouldn't that be amazing?
To all the friends who started out with me on myspace and found me through my blogs, thanks so much for your support there. I wrote so much that I realized writing is something I want to do and maybe someday it will amount to something great. Karen (Kare-Bear), thanks for your inspiring story and your dedication to the show. The ODI, for noticing my blogs in the first place. I wish I could've done more. Terrance, Laura (Darth Locke), I remember you guys from LoM, that was a long time ago! Anna from The Gift Hatch, we started talking on myspace's LOST on ABC forums, where we used to argue with each other until we became friends. Mindy, Doug, Melissa, Allen NotLOST, all of you guys took the time to read my blogs back then...thanks!
I used to write for the LOST ORIENTATION RPG over on myspace & my characters had lots of "fans" which was so trippy...people get so excited about make-believe, but it was great writing practice and too much fun. I was writing for Hurley & Penny, btw...
Thanks to everyone who participated. Thanks Melanie, even though your characters all got killed off! Thanks Bek, you were awesome.
Thanks DocArzt, Dark UFO, ODI, Lostpedia...every game was so much easier because of your websites. I know there are others, but these are the ones I came back to again & again. I miss the first version of LP where I used to edit. After the change, I was too lazy to update my profile. Eh...
Dharmalars! I miss your podcast so very, very much :(
During the LOST Experience I was over at 4815162342.com. I'm not gonna say it was my favorite forum, but everyone there was really smart, which made the game easier for me!
Thanks Manda and everyone at Lost4Life. You guys made the poster game bearable!
Most of all, I want to say thanks to 3 of my favorite Losties, who have put up with my constant blathering on about theories, references to the show that I seem to find everywhere, and my long letters about the most minute details...no one else seems to care about these things but when I have to tell someone about them you guys always listen. You lot don't miss a beat, but follow me as I meander from LOST to Harry Potter as I so often do, forgetting what I started out with and getting...um...lost...
Not to mention, my bizarre need to sort everyone into one of the four houses...
Basically, the three of you have tolerated my geekiness better than even my own family.
Monica, Sara and Chelsy. You ladies inspire me to be better. You're my Constants.
I want to say that after LOST, I'll have more time to devote to my own stories. I want to believe that I'm moving on to bigger and better things. I can't devote the rest of my life to something that I didn't even create. But LOST will always be a big part of my life, and everyone I met during this adventure will continue to inspire me--I know--for decades.
Don't be surprised if you see a small part of yourself in something I create.
"...and I hope that we'll meet again in a world of peace and freedom in the taxi cab if the accident will."
--Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse 5
[ps: JATE IS FATE! :P]
